misslynx: (Aidan - w/stick)
[livejournal.com profile] kettunainen already posted this one on Facebook, but it's definitely worth repeating:

"I could use special diseases that are in poo to get rid of the government."

She adds that they had been talking about landfills, with no mention of either of poo or the government before he said that.

When I told [livejournal.com profile] lgbtech about that one, she immediately asked where one could donate funding to that project. :-)
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
Shouted out gleefully at random while we were walking on a busy sidewalk: "When I take a bath, I don't wash my penis at all!"

Seriously, I have no idea what inspired him to say that - we were not talking about baths, or penises.

. . .

Later, in a conversation which did in fact in some way involve the topic of poo:

The Lynxcub: "I'm talking about actual poo, the kind that comes out of your butt!"

Me (confused): "Er... what other kind is there?"

Him (obviously delighted to know something I don't): "Actually, there is another kind. It's called well poo."

Me (even more confused): "Well poo? What's that?"

Him: "It's what Mama says when she can't find something she's looking for."
misslynx: (Aidan - w/stick)
Seriously, how many three-year-olds want to know about the atmosphere of Jupiter? )

And when gleefully typing random characters on my computer keyboard:

"I'm writing in a language a cell can't read!"

(reference to this video, where they describe DNA in terms of information being written in a language cells can read)
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
Of late, the Lynxcub has been completely obsessed with the DVD Here Comes Science, by They Might Be Giants. For those who don't know, TMBG have released a number of kids' CDs and DVDs, in addition to their usual quirky rock offerings. I'd originally introduce him to their stuff via their YouTube channel, but [livejournal.com profile] kettunainen and [livejournal.com profile] optimystik ended up getting him that one on DVD, and he is so in love with it that he has insisted on bringing it along with him on several visits, and on the times he's forgotten to do that, insists on seeing most of the videos from it on YouTube.

He also likes many of the ones from Here Come the ABCs and Here Come the 123s, but it seems to be the science one that's really captured his heart, despite the fact that unlike the others, I'm pretty sure it's intended for considerably older kids than him. But then again, as anyone who's met him (or even reads my LJ regularly) knows, the Lynxcub is not your average three-and-a-half-year-old. It's really pretty awesome to hear him exclaim with delight "Oh look, it's the periodic table!", or draw squiggles on paper and insist that they're DNA. He has also solemnly informed me that he thinks Pluto is a planet, no matter what anyone else says.

And it was the same video that tackled the is-Pluto-a-planet question that led to the following conversation:

Lynxcub: I think I'm going to knock all those rocks in the asteroid belt out of the sky.

Me: Really? Why?

Lynxcub: I'm going to make them into a chew toy.

Me: (brief pause as I attempt to process that statement) Um... That's going to be a very large chew toy.

Lynxcub: (dismissively) That's OK, I'm going to use a machine.

Me: So, uh, who is that chew toy going to be for?

Lynxcub: I'm going to find someone who has a dog who doesn't have a chew toy.

Me: A very, very big dog?

Lynxcub: Yes. With big, sharp teeth!

. . .

I am actually very pleased with his TMBG-fanboy-ness. Their kids' songs and videos are pretty cool - a lot of the videos, especially, have really interesting artwork and animation (I think this is my personal favourite, though I have to warn you the song is an irresistible earworm - it will go through your head for weeks!). Especially in contrast to how stupid and/or annoying most kids' entertainment these days is... I would far, far rather have him watch TMBG geeking out over photosynthesis or paleontology than Spongebob Squarepants or something like that...

I really need to get that DVD - and their other kid's ones, for that matter. There really should be a "one of everything, please" bundle available. Also: this shirt, which is perfect for him since that's one of his favourite songs from that collection, and red is his favourite colour! The first time I looked at the site, I was disappointed because I thought they only had that one in adult sizes, but then I discovered that the kids' version was listed separately further down in the section. Oddly, it doesn't appear in their separate kids' store, but at least now I know I can get it in his size! (ETA: or not. Just noticed the sizes listed are YM, YL and S. I'm guessing the first two mean something along the lines of Youth Medium and Youth Large, but I don't know if the S is meant to be a Youth Small and just lost its Y*, or if it's an adult small. Or if any of these sizes are anywhere near the size 4 that he normally wears.)

. . .

And elsewhere in the world of entertaining Lynxcub moments, later in the same visit, when he was playing in the living room and I had my back turned making him a snack, I heard him say "I need to do this by myself."

Turning around, I asked what it was he need to do, and he replied "This art!" I looked at what he was doing and saw that he had gotten my blush compact out of my purse, and was carefully brushing blush onto the chest of drawers in front of him, with a look of great concentration, as though he was certain that he was creating a masterpiece.

Without looking up, he added in a tone of unmistakable satisfaction "When I'm done, there's going to be scraps of my art everywhere!"

Artistic as well as scientific - that's my boy!

. . .

* Presumably, the missing Y is in the Alphabet Lost & Found.
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
More evidence of budding Doctor Who geekery in the boy:

While building something with Lego, he told me: "I'm building a Dalek prison place. This opening is for them to get groceries through, so that they don't take over the world while they're out getting groceries."

As I was trying not to die of laughter, he paused thoughtfully, and added "Daleks are pretty cute, but they aren't very friendly."

. . .

Shortly afterward, he decided that it was actually a Dalek house, rather than a prison: "But only for the good Daleks."

"The ones that don't try to take over the world?"

"That's right. The Doctor built it for them. He's not the kind of doctor who makes sick people better, he's the kind that finds good Daleks nice places to live."

. . .

Later on, he was playing with a bunch of little plastic animals, and announced that they were sick with "a really bad, go-to-the-doctor flu".

"So they have to go an see a veterinarian?"

"Yes! But the girl veterinarian isn't very good at it yet. The father veterinarian is better."

(Trying to process this:) "Uh... so there's a father and daughter veterinarian, but the daughter's still learning and isn't a very good vet yet?"

"That's right. She isn't very good at it yet, because she's still young. But she sometimes fights off bad chemicals. And Daleks."
misslynx: (Aidan - w/stick)
Even when the Lynxcub is upset and/or angry, he's freakishly cute, although sometimes in a slightly disturbing way. Some things he has said lately when Not Happy:

Over the course of a prolonged struggle to get him into his winter coat:
"I don't like my winter coat any more! I want to break it! I want to break it and throw it away! I want to throw it in the street and make it dirty! I want to throw it up on top of this building!"

Partly out of curiosity and partly to distract him, I asked how he would do that:

"I would get a big long rope with a hook on the end and throw it all the way up there until the rope was tight and then put it at the very top!"

And later, when having to put on said coat again, to go home after the visit:

"I want to break it into little pieces and throw the threads at cars!"

On a similar note, when trying to get him re-dressed after he had insisted on taking off most of his clothes:
"I don't like my jeans! I don't like my old jeans or my new jeans! They're too uncomfortable!"

I asked if he had any pants he did like:

"No! I don't like any pants at all! I want to break all my pants! I want to break my pants and my shirt and my socks and my boots and my coat and my hoodie! I want to break all my clothes!"

When asked how he felt at times when a grownup had yelled at him for something he didn't do (this was in the context of me trying to impress upon him why he shouldn't yell at Kiska when she hadn't done anything wrong):
"I would push the grownup down and cut the grownup into little pieces and eat the grownup!"

. . .

And, in less angry forms of cuteness, he was looking in the cupboard where I put Lego stuff we've made to keep it safe between his visits, and asked why I'd put the duck up on top of the farmhouse. I told him that ducks are birds and maybe it flew up there. He gave me A Look, and said, very patiently, as though explaining things to a slow learner, "Lego can't fly!"
misslynx: (Default)
Had a nice visit from [livejournal.com profile] lgbtech. Our 40s film noir costumes for the Halloween party we went to came together pretty well, though the concept we were going for didn't seem to be that apparent to most people - a lot of people thought she was supposed to be a gangster rather than a detective. I think the Bogart-ishness was more apparent when she had a beige trenchcoat on over the suit, on the way to the party, but you can't really keep something like that on indoors without overheating.

With my costume, I did learn a few things: Film noir femme fatale costuming notes )

However, a good time was had by all nonetheless. Also, we saw Cthulhu on the St. Clair streetcar.

Oh, also - [livejournal.com profile] mycrazyhair, I have your earrings in a safe place and will return them to next time I see you. Thanks so much for lending them to me!

In other Halloween-related news, the Lynxcub seems to like his tiger costume, but refuses to actually wear it. He'll play with it, cuddle it, carry it around like a security blanket or lay it on the floor like a tiger-skin rug and sit on it, but I could not get him to actually put it on when I took him to the Samhain Family Circle. However, tigers still seemed to be the theme of the day, as he insisted on me making him a tiger ghost and a tiger jack-o-lantern during the crafty parts of the event. I really should have gotten a photo of the tiger jack-o-lantern... It ended up at [livejournal.com profile] kettunainen and [livejournal.com profile] optimystik's place - I don't suppose you guys got a chance to take a picture?

Speaking of the Cub, it's been a while since I posted a Cuteness Report, not because he has in any way ceased to be cute, but because I've been freakishly busy for most of this fall. But yesterday's visit featured a couple of things that just have to be recorded for posterity: Two hilaristurbing conversations )
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
I took the Lynxcub to visit my father and stepmother earlier today - he always likes going to see them and apparently was announcing the impending visit over and over before I picked him up, to [livejournal.com profile] kettunainen and [livejournal.com profile] optimystik and even random strangers on the subway.

A good time was had by all, but particularly noteworthy were an entertaining incident I've put behind a cut below, and a tale he spun while we waited for the Ossington bus on the way back. The following is condensed from a long and rambling conversation:

Apparently, he plans to "break the road" (as in the little roadway where the buses pull in to Ossington subway station) so that he can build a house there. A big, tall house, with a bear painted on it (we had earlier seen a bear mural on the wall of a building the subway passed while it was above ground), in which the Three Bears would live. But it had to be a very special, strong house, so that Goldilocks wouldn't knock it down, because if any of the walls were delicate (yes, his word), she would kick them down.

I think it was at this point that I asked if Goldilocks had superpowers, and he looked thoughtful for a moment and then replied "yes!" enthusiastically, in a because-that-explains-EVERYTHING tone of voice.

However, Goldilocks is apparently not entirely hostile to the bears, because she's also going to stomp a big hole in the road next to the house for them, so that they can build a garage. In the garage, the bears will keep snow shovels, and also garden tweezers, which he attempted to demonstrate by stretching out his arms with his hands curved in slightly, and moving them in a scissor-like motion, like his entire arms were a huge pair of tweezers. The purpose of these, he solemnly informed me, was to tweeze the plants.

But when he recounted it late to Kettu, he said they were snow tweezers instead. For tweezing snow, one must suppose.

He also assured me that we didn't have to worry about Goldilocks coming along and breaking the bench we were sitting on, because he had built it especially strongly out of bricks and wood.

I strongly suspect he was mixing up the Three Bears story with the Three Little Pigs, and thus casting Goldilocks in the role of the big bad wolf. I kept waiting to hear that she was going to huff and puff and blow their house down, but apparently she's all about the kicking and stomping and breaking stuff.

And one to tell his dates about later on - NSFW )
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
Lynxcub: "My rubber ducky got lost, because it had a crack in the back of its head."
Me: "A crack in the back of its head? How did that happen?"
Lynxcub (gleefully, with stabbing motions): "I CUT IT in the back of its head!"
Me (somewhat alarmed): "Why did you do that?!"
Lynxcub (shyly): "It was a silly thing for me to do. But I thought it was a good idea at the time... (then, shouting gleefully) AND IT WAS!!!"

. . .

Me: "Now that we have popsicle molds, what kind of juice do you think we should use to make our first batch of popsicles?"
Lynxcub: "PIZZA juice!"
Me (laughing): "I'm... um, not sure there's any such thing as pizza juice, sweetie. We could maybe try tomato juice if you want... But I was thinking some kind of fruit juice, first."
Lynxcub (nodding): "Apple juice... (pause) and baking powder!"
Me: "Baking powder? Why would you want to put baking powder in popsicles? We're going to freeze them, not bake them!"
Lynxcub: "But I LIKE baking them! I LOVE BAKED POPSICLES!!!"

. . .

Lynxcub (after watching a couple of short animal videos on the National Geographic Kids web site): "Can we watch just one short video of firefighters?"
Me: "OK, let's just find one..."
Lynxcub: "Snake firefighters!"
Me: "Um... I'm not sure there's any such thing as --"
Lynxcub: "Skeleton snake firefighters!"

It's possible (though I didn't think of it until seeing a comment to [livejournal.com profile] kettunainen's FB post about this) that he may have been thinking of a video he saw a week or two ago, of a firefighting robot that looks kind of like a snake, and sprays fire-extinguisher-stuff out its "mouth". Or not.

But either way, as I commented there, it's kind of weirdly amusing that while robot snake firefighters don't sound any less surreal than skeleton snake firefighters, apparently they do sort of technically exist.
misslynx: (Aidan - w/stick)
Me: "It's pretty sunny out. Would you like your hat and sunglasses on?"

Lynxcub: "If a fire truck came into my dreams, I would jump up on top of it and work on it! I would work on top of the cab to make the lights go off and the sirens go off. And then there would be a blowy horn --"

Me: "Um... that really isn't answering to my question..."

Lynxcub: "--and I would work a lot on it and the lights and the siren, and there would be a flashing green light, and... [a fair bit more detail I can't remember omitted] ...and that's what I would do if a fire truck came into my dreams!"

Me: "That's very interesting. But would you like your hat and sunglasses on?"

Lynxcub: "No."

. . .

Lynxcub, junior forest firefighter )

Remind me not to ever have him wake ME up )

A moment of sheer awesomeness )
misslynx: (Default)
OK, I know this is a couple of years old and many of you have probably already seen it, but I hadn't before now, and it is awesome. I have a huge love for unexpected outbreaks of creative weirdness in public places, and this particular had me literally in tears from laughing so hard:

BTW, Improv Everywhere, the group behind this, has an LJ feed: [Bad username or site: improvevrywhre/ @ livejournal.com]
misslynx: (Default)
  1. After a whole lot of uncertainty, looks like Torchwood is coming back! Yay!

  2. Via [livejournal.com profile] sabotabby: the Toronto Star is soliciting suggestions for names for the ridiculously expensive fake lake the government is having built for the G20 summit. Click on the comments tab to read the suggestions (which are up 20 pages or something now). My favourites from among those suggested: The Excesspool, Lake Flaccid, Lake Inferior, and (bonus points for bilingual punning) Lac Integrity.

  3. Via [livejournal.com profile] pagandelight: an entertaining "remix" of some comments by a homophobic preacher in Uganda. For some reason, this especially made me think of [livejournal.com profile] tamago23, but I think anyone else with a warped sense of humour will also enjoy it. Not even remotely safe for work, life, or anything, really )
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
#1 - after passing a golden retriever on the street:

Him (happily): I like golden retrievers! (pause) I like to help them walk.
Me (slightly confused): You like to help them walk?
Him: Yes. I help them walk all by themselves.
Me: How do you do that?
Him: I pet them!
Me: And petting them makes them able to walk all by themselves?
Him: Yes! (pauses again, and then says thoughtfully) Only dinosaurs can walk all by themselves.

. . .

Note: when I told [livejournal.com profile] kettunainen and [livejournal.com profile] optimystik about this after dropping him off, Optimystik said "Well, of course! Dinosaurs went extinct before people were around to pet them, so they had to be able to walk all by themselves. Everything else after that needed petting. Makes perfect sense!"

. . .

#2 - while drawing:

Me: What are you drawing?
Him: A fire truck! (he is, in fact, making a cloud of little dots on the paper, like a small swarm of gnats)
Me: What are those dots?
Him: Tiny, tiny windows. (adds a wiggly line) And that's a tail.
Me: The fire truck has a tail?
Him (in a "don't be silly!" tone): Noooo!
Me: Are you drawing an animal?
Him (distractedly): No...
Me: So who does the tail belong to?
Him: A triceratops! But it's kind of broken.
Me: The triceratops is broken? How did that happen?
Him: It was a plastic triceratops, and someone wasn't very gentle with it.
misslynx: (Me - w/ Kiska (on couch))
From the always-fabulous Clients from Hell:

"I hate blogs. Blogs are for angry people who are sitting at their computer with a glass of wine at midnight with nothing better to do. No companies use blogs anymore."

If I ever get around to starting a blog on my business site, I am strongly tempted to put that quote in the sidebar or something...

. . .

In other news: Kiska would apparently like to register a formal protest against the current heat wave. Her usual means of doing so is walking really, really slowly when out on walks, and periodically stopping and looking up at me with that unmistakable expression that says "We're going home now, right? Right?"

Me, I'm weathering it OK, due in large part to good cross-ventilation in my apartment, and a fan. But I have been somewhat low on energy... Hot weather always seems to leach it right out of me. Also, I am nearly out of sunscreen, and it's only May. This strikes me as wrong, somehow.
misslynx: (Quote - cunning plan)
Via a friend who's not on LJ:

Man dressed as Snoopy in 'worst attempted jail-break ever'

Because just trying to break into jail to free a friend, while dressed as Snoopy and armed with a water pistol wouldn't have been enough - no, he also had to break into the wrong prison.

Best quote: “It’s not every day you see a giant cartoon dog go on the rampage after trying to break into a prison.”
misslynx: (Aidan & me - w/ dandelion)
Mostly on less portentous matters than Liberation Day, bike accidents, etc.:
  1. Today's parenting discovery: a child who is totally uninterested in eating spaghetti with roasted beets when presented with it in a bowl the normal way may yet be enticed to eat a whole lot of it if you:

    1. allow him to loll on his back with his mouth open like a baby bird while you drop bits of food in, and

    2. tell him that the spaghetti strands are worms and the beets are red ants.

    Elsewhere in today's visit, he had me tuck Spiral Bear inside the front of his hoodie and zip him in, and then proudly informed me that he was pregnant. I wasn't quite sure what to say to that, so I just responded with "Well, er - congratulations, I guess!"

  2. Another Lynxcub cuteness/weirdness highlight: he has advanced to peeing standing up, but is not quite tall enough to actually pee in the toilet that way without standing on something. So in the absence of a suitable stepstool, I have been letting him stand on the (covered) litter box which is next to the toilet. I commented last visit that that meant he was peeing half like a cat and half like a human, and he delightedly exclaimed "I PEE LIKE HALF A CAT!!!" I am not sure he quite understood why this made me practically collapse in hysterical laughter...

  3. One detail I forgot to mention from [livejournal.com profile] lgbtech's visit - I finally got to try La Terrible with her at Volo. I'd been wanting to try that one for a while and was definitely not disappointed - it was amazing! Kind of in the same ballpark as Trois Pistoles (as in: pitch black, slightly sweet, awesomely rich flavour and alarmingly high ABV), but with its own distinct character as well. Definitely an automatic entry into my top ten beer list, and further proof that Unibroue can pretty much do no wrong.

  4. Lastly, whoever decided to put Stephen Moffatt in charge of the new season of Doctor Who deserves a medal of some kind, or at least my undying gratitude. The first few episodes were just kind of not bad, but OMG, he really pulled out all the stops for the Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone set. Absolutely awesome, as long as you don't mind never sleeping again. Though I suppose you can say that about most of the episodes he was a guest writer on before they put him in charge, but it's nice to see he hasn't lost his touch. And I am really, really looking forward to the rest of this season.

  5. And now, speaking of sleeping...
misslynx: (Default)
Anyone (of the local folks) going to Neutral tonight, by any chance? I am feeling the desire for social interaction, and maybe dancing. I don't know for certain if I'll be going, but I'm considering it.

Also, while I have never tried Chatroulette and don't particularly have any desire to, the following video shows one of the more amusing uses for it I've ever seen. Found via [livejournal.com profile] thewronghands:

Cut to spare your friends page )

Drink Me

Apr. 12th, 2010 08:47 pm
misslynx: (Misc - Cat Attack)
Most amusing spam subject line I've received in quite some time:

"100% Organic Coffee Infused with Beneficial Mushrooms"

I don't know if anyone else finds that as entertainingly surreal as I do, but it just conjures up all kinds of Alice-in-Wonderland-ish images for me...

"When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow..."

Except that with the mushrooms being infused in coffee, your mind would be moving fast. While you were also tall enough to be wearing a house, or small enough to be sleeping in a teapot, or whatever.

It is at times like this that I think my mind is probably plenty unique without the help of any Beneficial Mushrooms at all... (Note: the song that just popped up on iTunes as I was writing this was pure serendipity.)
misslynx: (Aidan & me - ravine)
Tonight saw a follow-up to this conversation, as follows:

Scene: The Lynxcub is standing on the stepladder in my kitchen, attempting to wash dishes (by his own insistence - no, I am not exploiting a two-and-a-half-year-old to do my dishes!). He spots a mesh strainer...

Lynxcub: What is dat? With all dose holes?
Me: That's a strainer.
Lynxcub (excitedly): Fish! (He had previously seen a sort of strainer-like thing used for transferring fish between containers in a pet store.)
Me: Yes, you could catch fish with it... (Seeing a golden opportunity to get him out of the kitchen sink) Do you want to go in the bedroom and catch fish with it? We could pretend the green rug is a lake.
Lynxcub (even more excitedly): Yes! Get Fishy*! (runs into bedroom)

I put Fishy on the rug, and he immediately sets about trying to "catch" him with the strainer, chattering excitedly about sushi and "toony fish". Looking for anything else vaguely fishlike, or at least aquatic, that could be added to the game, the only thing I can find is... plush Cthulhu.

Me: How about Cthulhu?
Lynxcub (in an unmistakable "Don't be silly!" tone): Nooooo! Catutu is a monster dat lives under the sea. Not in a lake!

He pauses and looks around curiously.

Lynxcub: Where is the sea?
Me: How about... maybe the bathtub?
Lynxcub (excited): Yes! Dat's where it is!

He grabs Cthulhu and goes tearing into the bathroom. A moment later he returns, grinning happily.

Lynxcub: Dere! Now he's in the sea!
Me: Is he going to sleep there again?
Lynxcub: Yes. Catutu is goin' to have a nice nap.

And lo and behold, there was indeed a Great Old One napping in my bathtub. Thanks to the Cub, the world is now safe.

* "Fishy" is the stuffed fish my cell phone provider sent me one year. Telus is big on sending you strange animals in the mail. Another time, it was a pig, and when when they are not mailing out stuffed animals, they are usually at least sending a annual calendar full of their standard weird/cute animal photos. Any rumours that this is, in fact, the main reason I am a Telus customer will be denied so adamantly as to prove their truth.


misslynx: (Default)

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